This is a fairly old photo of Helen about two to three years back. The bottom of the laundry basket was always Helen's go to place when she wasn't feeling well or when she was just done. I am beginning to think about looking on Amazon to see if they have laundry baskets in my size. I am about done with a laundry list of things but life was easier when producing a blog was more comfortable.
Mt. Lassen from my deck on Ash Creek. Yesterday my sister and I had lunch at a sweet little restaurant up the mountain a bit in a small town that is shrinking as years go by but seems to keep reinventing itself. We then took almost the rest of the drive to the entrance of Yosemite turning back a bit before the entrance as we knew we couldn't get into the park without a reservation per the new restrictions. But a nice day none the less when on the way back my sister asked the $50 question.
Did I miss my life in Shasta? I think some what to her surprised I answered yes. I miss the topography. I miss my land and my fiber friends. I assured that her that I really do value and enjoy my new land and home . But there are some things that just can't be replaced. Such as living on a large acreage in the middle of free range cattle land. Or barely getting started on a journey that was in in the future for so long and suddenly wasn't in the cards anymore. I shared with Emily the second oldest Grandgirl after she asked "why didn't you stay there and were you scared?" I didn't stay because it wasn't practical and it wasn't fair to my family to be so far away. That sometimes you have to just , as Susan says, pull up those PGP and press on. You have to do what is best for herd and not what you want . And you get past the scared part when you get to the other side of the journey when you realize you can do it and you survived. And while thinking about all this I think I tripped right over why , at least in part, blogging has become hard to do.
I am finding my way in this new journey and just like the fourteen year old who is still growing into their new size 10 boots life sometimes just gets uncomfortable. Getting used to the new protocol of blogging isn't helping my cause. Pictures won't load to my account and all the new icons feel weird. Like anything else a tincture of time will cure all the ills real or imagined and things will flow again.
Just a shot in the dark when it is "normal" feet will fit into those boots that seemed so big and a rhythm will take place.
9 comments:
Lovely post. It was the right decision to move, but that doesn't mean you won't think fondly, maybe even longingly, of your life before. Family is so important. Time marches on, so we should too.
Dear Lady, just think of all the changes you've had in your life in the last couple of years. You've made some big decisions and done things that have required you to be strong. And strong you are. Just give it time and don't push yourself to do anything that doesn't feel right just now. When you look at the list of things that cause real stress in our lives, you've had to deal with the top ones. And then there's this *&%^$! pandemic thing and the huge sense of uneasiness in our society as we've always known it which I believe is causing a big amount of stress and kind of depression in all of us. So don't beat yourself up about anything, let alone being unable to blog as you have in the past. You're doing great, you are one heckuva admirable gal and just need to do whatever is required to take care of yourself right now. Sending a total wrap-around bear hug!
Fear can really hold people back (I would admit to that myself), but you're absolutely right. Sometimes you just have to jump in and find out that you can do it! Sweet little cat in the basket. -Jenn
Change is certainly a tripping hazard. I think the more "routine" oriented we are, the more of a challenge it is - not impossible of course just a challenge. Wishing you blessings and smiles.
Absolutely. It is always a balance in anything. Take the best option of those presented that will equal the most positive outcome.
Correct MP no matter which side of the "virus" issue you sit on stress is stress. I have been known to work up a case of stress at a Baskin Robbins somedays just figuring out what I wanted.
I think we are all strong. I just think that we often don't figure it out until we find ourselves in situations that demand a performance.
I have realized that a good part of my reaction is living alone. It does have perks. I can eat ice cream for dinner whenever I get around to it. And no one cares . But also for a woman has spent her entire life with people in it the lack of being able to not have someone to turn to if just to say " Gesh did you see what so and so did? " is really weird. Yes the pups and felines are here but they kind of just stare at you and each other as if I have lost it. Since the conversation doesn't have snacks or the word dinner in it I believe they have no vested interest in what comes out of my mouth.
Thanks for the bear hug. Much appreciated and let me know if I can reciprocate.
Thank you Jenn. Sweet little cat is Miss. Helen who was smarter than some of the two legged I know. And yes fear can be paralyzing to people. I have found that the anticipation of what can or will happen is often worse than the actual outcome. My new motto is "there are only two choices you do or you don't."
Spot on Lady Locust and I am the ultimate creature of habit. I can tell you exactly why but it really doesn't matter. I often think that change is a good thing but not too much of it and only if it is happening to someone else. LOL
May your day be one of grace.
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